Page eighteen

It's about time xD

Hi everyone! x

Time flies and there is nothing you or me can do about. I would love to build a time machine, but that is just my imagination. I still can't believe that this Thursday I am going to a new school. It sounds scary. I remember that at the begging of the Summer I even didn't think about it and now with every single minute my tummy gets more butterflies and it starts to hurt. I don't even know what to expect. Do you know what should I expect? I am all ready, I have everything and I am just afraid that I will do something stupid and everyone will hate me. I am so negative. I even got myself two gold fishes to calm me down. (They are pretty loud.) I am trying to as much staff as I can. I dance, sing, listen to music, read, watch films ect. I even started my Summer task from school. I know, I look like a chicken now, but I am just sharing with you things that actually bother me. I also want to say that from now on till the end of June 2016 I will be posting two posts most of the weeks not three as I usually do. So be ready for every Monday and Friday. I hope you are having a good week/day. Whatever.
Lots of love x

Kornelia  

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment.)

Page seventeen

I don't know how to be happy ...

Hi everyone! x

I am really sorry that I didn't post anything in the last week. I was busy. I can't believe it that Summer is almost over. I am a bit happy and sad. I am happy because Fall is coming, but I am sad that the days are going to be shorter. 

I am not the best at being happy or not stressing out. I was wondering what people do that they are always happy, smiley or in a good mood. I don't know how to be happy. How to be happy!? I ready few articles and I thought that it doesn't really make any sense. People should do things they like and that is all. Spend time with people they love. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes not. I get it. There is many things that makes me smile, laugh or happy. Coffee, books, bed, cosy blanket, rainy weather, hot chocolate, riding a bike, singing, reading, films... that is not the end. 

Also, there is lots of things that actually make me sad or something. I don't know how to describe a sad feeling. I think that it's good not to think about "sad staff", just because it's better when you are not overwhelm. Sometimes when people have too many things in their hands, their world turns upside down and it doesn't do well to their brains.

YOU!

If there is something that bothers you, just laugh at it, because at end of the year you can think about it and say how good the year was. Just remember to do things that you like, laugh at things that aren't good to your or they are making you sad and do things that are worth remembering. 

"Be happy in front of your haters. It kills them."

Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. Have a good weekend.)

Page sixteen

The fact of changing

Hi everyone! x

This morning I thought about my new school and to be honest I thought about like it is a big deal, but is't not. At least that is what I think. It's a big change to me. I googled that "change" means " the fact of changing" or something different like "becoming different". Personally, I think "change" means something different. It is like a new start, a new beginning or a new page of your life. Changes can be good or scary. Some people think that they (changes) can be bad. However, I always like to think that even if the change is bad, then after a while the good days will come. They have to. Sometimes changes can lead to good things, good friends or even moods. Example: a new school can lead to meeting new people. new friend, new experience. Moving to a different country can lead to new culture, new people, new language and lots of different things. It's obvious that it will be a bit scary, but your change doesn't have to look significant to anyone else. It has to help you, not them. It is your own life and your own decision. Even if it is bad, you can't complain about it. You chose it.

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. Have a nice day.)

Page fifteen

Nothing special.

Hi everyone! x

Today is the day, when I don't have any inspiration. I think, that it is fine. After a bad day, the good days will come. The same is with the weather. After the rainy day, the sunny day will come. I really enjoy to write here, however sometimes I have days, when I just don't know what to do with myself and my brain feels like it has been switch off for ages. Maybe this suggests that I am really tired or something, but anyway I am not going to be winding you. I am hopping that you are having a wonderful Summer! 

Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment- this really help. Sorry that this post is very short. Have a good week.) 

Page fourteen

How to accept everything ?

Hi everyone! x

It's difficult to accept everything or everyone. Personally, I think that in order to be happy you have to accept most of things or people. However, people don't accept themselves, don't accept the weather, don't accept the world that they live in ect. I know it can be difficult. It can be difficult to accept your stepmother or stepfather and you can't compare it with accepting yourself or the world you live in, but you need to know. You need to know that probably that is the way it had to happened.There is lots of things you can do that can help you to change some staff, but that is not the point. People need to learn accept themselves and others. It doesn't really matter, who you are? Where are you from or how old you are? People are people. We are very similar, but very different. I don't like to be treated like s**t and to be honest I really think that people should treat themselves equally, because at the end of the day we are only humans with feelings. We are like big family. You can accept my thoughts about it or not. However, I will respect it and accept it. I don't always accept myself and I know that I can change. There is many things that give you opportunity to try new things. I decide to make a blog and I accept it. I accept the challenge of spending my time taking pictures, reading, writing and editing. With people is almost the same. You don't have to accept them and become friends straight away, but it would be good just to accept them for who they are. 

"It is what it is. Accept it and move on."

Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. I am also sorry for any mistakes.)

Page thirteen

Things I love to take on holiday to make it less stressful. ♥

Hi everyone! x

I just came back from my holiday. I had a good time. I love to travel as much as I hate it. I like to travel, because I like to go to new places. I just like to explore. However, I hate to travel, because the whole transport situation makes me very stressful. I like to take few things to make my time on my adventures less stressful. Especially in the car/bus/train or even on the plane. I like to take:

• my earphones to listen to some music. I also need to have something that stores my music, because I don't like to use my phone. I am usually unable to charge it, if is dead.
• pillow or something that I can sleep on. The day before I am trying to stay up as long as I can, after that I will be able to sleep while I am in the car or plane. 
• something that keeps me warm. If I am cold I am a bit angry and I just don't want to talk to anybody, so I like to keep something thick. It is even better, when I am able to watch a film, but there is usually no wi-fi connection.
• a book. If I am bored and not sleepy then I like to read or even play a board game. It's fun and you can always learn something. You are never too old to learn something.

This is how I cope with being on a plane/car ect... I feel worse, when I am on the airport or station. There is a lot more people and I am finding it very stressful, so I kind of like to think about something that makes me smile ( I even smile to myself and i know that I look stupid.) or I am trying not to take it too personally. Sometimes I am ignoring. Also I am following the rules to ignore difficult situations.

"Travel brings power and love back to your life."

That is the way I deal with traveling and what about you ? :)
Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment.)  

Page twelve

How to deal with being ill ? 

Hi everyone! x

I am usually the person, who gets ill every five minutes. I don't like it. No-one likes to be ill, because you are tired, sleepy, your noise is red and you have a headache, ect. (That's how I feel for the last two days.) Obviously, you don't look too good and you don't feel too good. That's normal, so I came up with this post. Dealing with fever or other illnesses can be difficult. 

• The most important thing for me when I am ill is my bed. I like to get my bed as comfortable as I can. You tired, maybe you have a headache. Sleep is the best for things like this. Keeping it warm and comfortable helps you as well.
• You have to drink a lot. It's important to stay hydrated. You don't have to drink only water. I don't like to drink a lot of water, but when I am ill I feel like I have to drink in order to get better. It's good that we actually have different drinks as well. I like to drink tea, hot chocolate or even coffee. (I love coffee.)
• If you are lying in your bed and you are bored, then you can watch a film, call your friend if she or he is not busy. I also like to read east books or listen to music, that makes me go to sleep easy. 
• If you are ill don't go to school. It can get even worse. You will infect others and I am sure thay are not going to be happy about that. So, if you have a chance to stay at home, than stay.
• Take your medicine. This is also important, however you don't always have to take it. Sometimes just a short nap will help you.  

Take care if you are ill :)

Lots of love x

Kornelia 

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. Have a good week.)
I am sorry that I didn't add a picture. Wi-fi problems. 

Page eleven

I love food.!

Hi everyone! x

I love food too much. I have promised myself to keep healthy and what ? I am not keeping it. Well, sometimes it just happens. There is nothing what you can do, because the feeling is just too strong. However, with good motivation you can do what you want. Anyway, enough of that. 

I decided to make some "Home made cookies". To be honest, I wouldn't call it 'a cookie', because the recipe contains only caramel (400g, 1 can) and puffed rice (100g, about 2 packs). The original name of it is "Cone". It's very sweet and sticky as well, just because it contains a lot of caramel. 

I really like to bake. It has something magical, that makes me smile and it helps me to forget all the bad things. As I love, I just hate it. Sometimes, I am trying to do something different or even more difficult and it doesn't work, so I get very angry. After my anger it won't work, so I am giving up. That is how my baking adventure finishes for few next weeks, just because I am very frustrated.
What about you ? Do you like to bake ? 

"Life is better with fresh baked cookies."

Lots of love x

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. I hope you will have a good day.) 

Page ten

Do I remember ?

Hi everyone! x
I love to look at my old pictures of me, when I was a baby. It makes me laugh, especially when I am stressed or anxious. It reminds of times, when I was spending the day outside playing with my old friend. To be honest I miss it. I miss it so much. It's very strange to see children playing on their phones or tablets and not outside. There is almost no-one outside. At least that is what is happening in the town I live in. When I was a child, I played football outside, I made tents out of blankets and pillows with other children around my flat. I even was able to play with paper and barbie dolls. I also love to ride my bike and as long as I remember I did ride a lot, when I was younger. I really miss it. It's a bit sad to see children playing on the internet, than in the real world. I know that most of us likes to spend time on the internet, but living your normal life is good as well, As long as we are young we should have a lot of fun as much as we can. Not only on the internet, but also in the real life. Otherwise, if we didn't spend that time outside having fun playing with others then we wouldn't have any good memories, but we have. Well, at least I do have some. Now, most of kids don't care about having some fun time outside or even inside playing with their friends to get some memories. I would love to go back in time, because if I would then probably I would change some things around, but I am a bit happy now.
And you ?
Do you have a good memory from your childhood and if you have then what is it about ?

"It's the little memories that will last a lifetime."

Lots of love x
Kornelia 
(Thank you for reading and I hope that you will comment. I am very sorry for any errors. Have a good day.)
Ps. If you need to contact me, my twitter is @KorneliaOficial :) 

Page nine

Passion !

Hi everyone! x

I noticed that people don't enjoy their work/job. If you don't like it, then don't do it! It's a wast of your life and time as well. If you don't like it, then it won't make you happy. Do things that actually make you happy. 

At Saturday I went food shopping for the first time in a while. Seller (sounds odd) looked very unhappy and tired. I understand it, because working is hard and the weather don't help either. It's very hot. However, the way she was operating was very nerve racking. It was very mean and bitter. She looked, like she don't enjoy it at all. In fact, maybe she was only tired. 

I am writing this post just to say that doing things that you want to do or you enjoy to do is okay. Follow your dream. Do what you are passionate about. Go on. Odds on. Do something that you want to do. If you won't start now, then you will regret it. Everything depends on your future. I know that not every single parent like what their child is doing, but that's not the point. If you enjoy it, don't listen to them. Don't listen to others. They don't know what they are talking about. If they want you to do medicine or law and you don't like it, then please don't do it. It's not worth it. We only live once, so you have to take your chance and make the most of it. 

"You don't want to look back and know you could have done better."

Lots of love x

Kornelia 

(Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment. It means a lot.)   

Page eight

It's killing !

Hi everyone x

I look like BEET. My face is so red. Yesterday I went to beauticians to do facial cleansing and IT WAS HORRIBLE. It was very painful. The women that works there did put many face masks on my face that made me look red. I don't feel very comfortable with it. The weather is very hot and this is also making every single move even worst. I don't think I will go out tonight. Everyone will be looking at me if I will go. Yesterday on my way home, I saw a girl staring straight at me, like she has a problem with me. I was very difficult not to look down, at my feet. I felt uncomfortable. I know that I didn't look too good, but I didn't have a choice. They didn't let me put my make-up on. My aunt says that it was my imagination, but clearly it wasn't. I know what I saw. I feel like everything is getting worst. The rest of my day I will spend in my bed. I really don't feel like going out. However, I might go for a walk. Just to have some alone time. I like woods, so probably I will go there. I said in my last post that I will try to be more active, so I have to do something. I hope that you are having a better day that me!
Lots of love x

Kornelia 

(Thank you for reading and I hope that you will comment.)

Page seven

New Summer resolution 

Hi everyone! x

I WANT TO BE MORE ACTIVE !!!

I feel like I haven't done a lot for the last couple of weeks, so I have decide to be more active. I want to spend more time outside. I will be drinking water and my diet will be a lot more healther. I think it is important to keep myself going through the Summer, because at the end of the months I am better prepared for my new school or even work that I am going to start. I know that I am not a very sporty person, but I will try to do and to enjoy things that I know how to do and they can be very helpful later on. I will play more volleyball or even football. I love to rode a bike so I will do it more often and also I heard that walking helps with anxiety, so this means that I will be walking at least 30 min. per day. In my diet there will be more fruits and vegetables. However, I will be ignoring spicy and very sweet things, because they are not too good for my skin.
And you ?
What are yours resolutions for this Summer ? :)
Lots of love  x 

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading. I hope you will comment and have a good day.)

Page six

Music .. 

Hi everyone x

I wondered why people are listening to music. "Uncle Google" tells us that music helps to de-stress, relax and it can even improve your mood. Personally, I agree with him! I had a lot of bad moments, in which music really helped me and still helps me. Stress is not a good friend. Usually, when I am stressed and anxious, I am listening to music. Sometimes it seems like I'm in a better world. It really helps me and at the end of the day I know that life is too short to panic, because it is not worth it. I like to try new things, even though my favourite is pop and a little bit of rock. I love that feeling, when you listen to a song that automatically makes you smile and to be honest the feeling of crying while you listen to a song makes me want to think about life and the important things. It sounds weird, but I always had one song that helped/helps me to control myself, just because I am a bit sentimental. I like to keep old photos or even some old toys from childhood.They always remains me of the good times that went by very fast and sometimes this is even better than music. 

Lots of love x 

Kornelia

(Thank you for reading. I hope than you enjoyed it and also that you will comment it. Have a good week.)   

Page five

Something that helps..

Hi everyone x 

Probably non of you really know what I am suffering from, but that's okay. I have social anxiety disorder. "It is an emotion discomfort or a fear when a person is in a social interaction that involves a concern of being judged." It's difficult to cope with a lot of stress in public. I have some bad memories that involved anxiety. I don't like going to places with lots of people. That is why I am not going to shops a lot. Going down the street without any make-up on is terrible. I feel like everyone is looking at me, everyone is talking about me, pointing at me and even sometimes I have thoughts that make me freak out so badly. I am usually eating at home. It has to be something very, VERY special to go out for a meal, but when it happens I hate being there. I don't even like ordering food just, because I think that others are judging me. Like they are think that I am fat and not worth. Not always too good things. I don't know why I am sharing it with you, but I feel like you, all of you will understand me more then others.
Now, I have a question to all that people that have the same disorder what me. What are the ways I can help myself ? Is there any ways I can stop worring, shaking ?
Lots of love x

Kornelia

Page four

New little haul ?

 

Hi everyone x

I feel like I haven't sleep in ages. I am just so tired and the only thing I would like to do is sleep. The worst thing is when I am actually trying to go to sleep, but I can't because my mind is full of different thoughts. I really want to live in the moment, but I am finding it very difficult. Sometimes I just feel like I can't do anything, because I am useless. I know that I should change it, but I did hear people say things like this to me.

Last Friday I went soping with mum. I felt a bit anxious and I wasn't too sure if I should go, but I had no choice. I needed few things for my holiday, which will be in a couple of days. I am not a big fun of shopping. There is usually too many people and that freaks me out. I didn't spend a lot of many, because there was a lot of sales. I went to New Look (My favorite shop.), Dorothy Perkiness and Primark.

• From Dorothy Perkiness I got dark blue t-shirt with white collar. I think it will look nice with classic, dark, skinny trousers, when you are going out.
• From New Look I got white bikini and flowery kimono. I think kimono will look nice with jeans shorts or even a crop top.
• From Primark I got blue shorts. They will look good with white vest. Also, I got long dress with blue and white strips and lacy back. It will look cool with white converses or sandals. I also bought white with blue round neck top. It will look nice with jeans.

I noticed that I bought lots of clothes with white. I usually buy cloths with lots of dark colours. I think my Summer will bea bit lighter than usually.

"Fashion ia about something that comes from within you"

Lots of love x

Kornelia







 

Page three

A difficult feeling.?

Hi everyone! x
I felt so upset this afternoon. I got told off again and it even wasn't my fault. Yes, maybe a week ago I did break the smoothie maker, but this time I haven't done anything. I am keeping freaking out. It's almost happening all the time. I am going to a new school from September, so I think that might be the reason. However, I still have almost two months left, so I really don't know why should I think about it. I know I am being very nervous, but also very moody. It's a weird feeling. One minute I am happy and one minute I am angry and I feel like smashing something or someone. Even weather doesn't help me. It was sunny and now it's raining. I have a dream of changing my life. I am trying my best, but sometimes I just feel like giving up. I love to spend time outside, just thinking about my life, about changes I would like to make. At the end of the day, I still think that they're pointless. Why? I just don't know. Currently I am trying to get some motivation, but it's difficult.

"Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities."

Lots of love x 
Kornelia 
(Thank you for reading. I hope that you will comment. Next post on Wednesday. Also I am sorry for not adding a picture. My tablet got crazy.)

Page two

My favorite ...

Hi everyone x 

Few weeks ago, I read a book. It was sci-fi book. To be honest I am not really into sci-fi, but I thought that I will have a go at reading it. It started boring, probably like most of the books. However, when I reached chapter 10 I felt in love with it. 'Seed' by Lisa Heathfield is very easy to read, which makes it easy to enjoy. The name of the book is very different and I associate it with new life. 

The Book is about fifteen years old Pearl. All that she knows must be connect to nature. The lands is the centre of the family.It is all kept under the watchful eye of Papa S.. New family arrives and her life changes. She meets Elis. Worldly boy have a lot of answers to her questions. I really recommend this book. Especially, if you are interested in sci-fi books. 

"I like fictional characters more than people I know personally."

Lots of love x

Kornelia 

(Thank you for reading. I hope you will comment. It means a lot. Next post on Monday.) 

Page one.

AM I STILL HAPPY ?

Hi everyone x 
It's not, it wasn't and it will not be good. I have lost my friends, my grandfather and even my peace. In Poland, perhaps it was scary, but I felt much more safe and I had friends, who always supported me. I have always dreamed of a good friend, but it never came true. Since I live in England I feel more anxious and sad. I don't know, maybe it's a part of growing up or maybe not, but I don't feel good about it. Sometimes I wonder how would my life look like in Poland. I don't think it would be the same. The only reason why I moved to England is my mum. She spend most of her life here, so I am not surprise why she didn't want to go back. Living with my grandmother wasn't exactly good.However, I see a lot of positive things in my environment. I am really happy that I became independent and brave. Nothing special, but for me it's a lot. Although, the beginning was difficult. I pretended that I am strong. I just wanted to show everyone that I can start again. Everyone laughed and said that I won't last here, but I did. Even if it gave me a lot of pain. I am strong to talk about this. It's not easy to talk about feelings, but I decide to put this on this blog and show that life is not always colorful. I am sure that in the world is more than one person, who has or had a hard time in life.

"Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go"

Lots of love
Kornelia x
(Thank you for reading.I hope you will comment)